Delving deeper in Wario: Master of Disguise

By Katie . February 12, 2007 . 2:52pm

It’s been altogether too long since you’ve gotten a proper update to the review on Kaitou Wario The Seven for Nintendo DS. This is a function of my alternate obligations, mostly of the unwanted kind… but in veeeery small part, the shameful truth is that I was stuck in the game. It’s that type of incident, totally unrelated to the language barrier and totally due to lack of observation that makes this game satisfying to conquer. But having finally surmounted that admittedly minor obstacle (hint: realize when the game is trying to show you a ‘slick’ maneuver you’ll use later), I can happily report that Wario The Seven only steals your heart more and more as you sally forth on spelunking adventures.

Purchase at Play-Asia

While I’ve given up trying to discern the finer points of the story by this point, a few developments of interest are pushing the game along. I’m giving a sign of my age with this reference, but remember, if you can, Garfield: Caught in the Act for Sega Genesis, or for an extra obscurity bonus, the Game Gear. Whatever was your flavor, the story here is similar – by entering his TV, Wario lands himself the new leading role in a magician’s adventure show (Al Dente seems to be his name), travelling to a new destination in each episode. Some serious rivalry goes down, and we learn that there’re these Wishing Stones that are really important for one reason or another – possibly the wish-granting. Anyway, these are hidden deep in the well-guarded lairs of the bosses and their hordes of underlings, and all this presumably makes for great ratings.

The best change? Wario’s creepy, loud laugh that randomly erupts during dialogue isn’t inspiring pant-pissing terror in me anymore.

What I’ve most come to appreciate, despite a few Game Over’s, is the gentle challenge of Wario The Seven. You’re really free to roam levels for as long as you please, but with their maze-like interconnections of doors, tunnels, ladders, and pits, it doesn’t always amount to a matter of choice for the memory-challenged (ahem), and your elapsed time seems to have some bearing on your stage-end score. The levels, including a cruise ship, icy cavern, and pyramid, exhibit some fine forward-thinking by the designers, and require just as much from you, the player, especially once most of Wario’s seven are gathered.

Really pushing back in the years now, but does anyone remember Kid Chameleon, either? The abilities, their unique uses, the order of said uses that combined to open new pathways or send you back in a screaming rage? It’s kind of like that with Wario, but with more choice in the matter. Shining examples: you may recognize that a dinosaur would be too heavy to stand on certain types of platforms – but might be more surprised to know that sometimes, you would WANT to fall through a few, careful to control your descent, to reach a passageway in between. You may see, using Doctor Wario’s astute eye, that a wall has some cracks in it, yet it won’t yield to any of your attacks. Remember that wall, work around it to the right chest, get the punching glove so the Doc isn’t so defenseless… and guess at some of its other uses.

So how to get these power-ups? Extra hearts, money, experience and new abilities come from the assorted minigames that come from scattered treasure chests. Here we encounter time-limited games in the 30-second range – pest control, slide puzzles, mazes, connect the dots, color-by-number, matching and more – that become incrementally harder as stages pass. If you’re looking for the grotesque in this appearance, you’ll find it as you drop poop spirals into toilets, draw pictures of stink line-emitting garlic, and expose squished roach guts. Maybe it’s because I can’t read the story, but the crude humor of bad Mario seems kept to its minimum and does not bother me this time.

Aside from the hand-eye engagements and bilateral thinking that form the game’s best challenges, some of the tougher boss battles require practiced wand-waving as you pull the ol’ switcheroo under considerable time constraints. It’s like those elementary school doodles that impressed you cause the kid didn’t have to take the pen off the paper and drew a house. In general, Wario doesn’t like to be interrupted by a smack in the face, so get those patterns down pat – you don’t need mad art skillz to be Graffiti Wario, but you must consider the starting and ending points relative to the direction you’re facing.

In the technical domain, Wario The Seven does some nice work. The second dimension doesn’t often look this colorful, or animated, or detailed; the audio comes fully outfitted with catchy tunes and stock sound effects – squeaky toys, skidding tires, panting dogs, and the occasional, surprising baboon fart, which of course are assigned as randomly as possible for full weird-out effect. Sound effects are rather rare, which lets you focus on the tranquility of exploring.

In all, Wario The Seven alias Wario The Thief will please fans new and old of the Metroid, Castlevania, or previous Wario games, and surely others to boot. Now if only I could get out of the TV…