E3 Predictions: Director’s Cut

By Ethan . June 8, 2014 . 11:00am

This past week, Siliconera contributors shared their E3 predictions/hopes/prayers for things like a Dragon Quest VII localization, Yakuza 5 and… a new Balloon Fight.  Believe it or not, those were just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some of the more… *ahem* outlandish predictions for E3 collected when compiling the E3 feature.

 

“I hope E3 swag is more practical this year. That 1lb. Fluttershy from Gameloft last year felt like it was 5lbs by the end of the day.”

 

Dragon Quest localization announcements plz”

 

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

 

“I want to see a Girls’ Generation rhythm game. Come to me, Taeyon!”

 

“Maybe Zelda Wii U? It’s about all I can think of that’s a long shot.”

 

“Enraged he missed the Smash Bros. Invitational Tournament, Rocco boots up his Reggie Fils-A-Mech Mk-II, and destroys downtown Los Angeles with its laser death-ray eyes.”

 

Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem will be a fighting game. I assure you. You shout commands into the Wii U GamePad like, ‘MARA, CHARGE FORTH WITH YOUR GLORIOUS CHARIOT.’”

 

“That Splatterhouse reboot from a few years back gets a sequel and a PC port for no particular reason.”

 

“Bomberman’s triumphant return to consoles! …based on this B-daman game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht_XGAf3Ze4

 

“Mecha Reggie is announced as Mario Kart 8 DLC, puts Luigi’s death stare to shame”

 

“Square Enix announces five new Kingdom Hearts games slated for release before Kingdom Hearts III.”

 

“Does [redacted] not understand? There are going to be 6.5 games before Kingdom Hearts 3!”

 

“XSEED localizes Gal Gun

 

DARKSTALKERS 4 IS SOMEHOW ALIVE AND LOOKS EVEN BETTER THAN GUILTY GEAR XRD

 

“Just as they did in Japan, Sega teams up with Domino’s Pizza to promote Hatsune Miku in the western world!”

 

The Last Guardian has been reimagined by Team ICO (now Naughty Dog Japan) as a spin-off—The Last Guardian of Us—to be released on PlayStation 5.”

 

“Upon being asked if the press conference on Monday will include Vita announcements, a Sony representative will respond, ‘Is that a PS4 game?’”

 

“Monolith Soft unveils mysterious ‘X’ project. A gargantuan mecha, piloted by Nintendo of America CEO Reggie himself, descends from the heavens. All competitors are obliterated.”

 

“‘That game’ will be at E3. Please look forward to it!”

 

“Harmonix buys Parappa the Rappa.”

 

“If a Halo release is announced without any tattoos, does it even count?”

 

“The show floor will not be real. Everything is just virtual reality.”

 

“Capcom will announce that their localization plan for The Great Ace Attorney is to just release a hamburger and be done with it. At least we’re getting a physical release!”


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