E3 Predictions: Director’s Cut

By Ethan . June 8, 2014 . 11:00am

This past week, Siliconera contributors shared their E3 predictions/hopes/prayers for things like a Dragon Quest VII localization, Yakuza 5 and… a new Balloon Fight.  Believe it or not, those were just the tip of the iceberg. Here are some of the more… *ahem* outlandish predictions for E3 collected when compiling the E3 feature.

 

“I hope E3 swag is more practical this year. That 1lb. Fluttershy from Gameloft last year felt like it was 5lbs by the end of the day.”

 

Dragon Quest localization announcements plz”

 

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

Tomodachi

 

“I want to see a Girls’ Generation rhythm game. Come to me, Taeyon!”

 

“Maybe Zelda Wii U? It’s about all I can think of that’s a long shot.”

 

“Enraged he missed the Smash Bros. Invitational Tournament, Rocco boots up his Reggie Fils-A-Mech Mk-II, and destroys downtown Los Angeles with its laser death-ray eyes.”

 

Shin Megami Tensei x Fire Emblem will be a fighting game. I assure you. You shout commands into the Wii U GamePad like, ‘MARA, CHARGE FORTH WITH YOUR GLORIOUS CHARIOT.’”

 

“That Splatterhouse reboot from a few years back gets a sequel and a PC port for no particular reason.”

 

“Bomberman’s triumphant return to consoles! …based on this B-daman game https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ht_XGAf3Ze4

 

“Mecha Reggie is announced as Mario Kart 8 DLC, puts Luigi’s death stare to shame”

 

“Square Enix announces five new Kingdom Hearts games slated for release before Kingdom Hearts III.”

 

“Does [redacted] not understand? There are going to be 6.5 games before Kingdom Hearts 3!”

 

“XSEED localizes Gal Gun

 

DARKSTALKERS 4 IS SOMEHOW ALIVE AND LOOKS EVEN BETTER THAN GUILTY GEAR XRD

 

“Just as they did in Japan, Sega teams up with Domino’s Pizza to promote Hatsune Miku in the western world!”

 

The Last Guardian has been reimagined by Team ICO (now Naughty Dog Japan) as a spin-off—The Last Guardian of Us—to be released on PlayStation 5.”

 

“Upon being asked if the press conference on Monday will include Vita announcements, a Sony representative will respond, ‘Is that a PS4 game?’”

 

“Monolith Soft unveils mysterious ‘X’ project. A gargantuan mecha, piloted by Nintendo of America CEO Reggie himself, descends from the heavens. All competitors are obliterated.”

 

“‘That game’ will be at E3. Please look forward to it!”

 

“Harmonix buys Parappa the Rappa.”

 

“If a Halo release is announced without any tattoos, does it even count?”

 

“The show floor will not be real. Everything is just virtual reality.”

 

“Capcom will announce that their localization plan for The Great Ace Attorney is to just release a hamburger and be done with it. At least we’re getting a physical release!”


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  • Spirit Macardi

    “That Splatterhouse reboot from a few years back gets a sequel and a PC port for no particular reason.”

    The problem is that would be an awesome idea, so Namco would want nothing to do with it.

  • lmao that smtxfe comment

  • Mar Mar

    The Last Guardian of Us.

    What the hell? XD

  • Eder García

    “Mecha Reggie is announced as Mario Kart 8 DLC”
    you can play MK8 with Fils-a-mech mii

  • Reki Honoo

    Three things I really want to be at E3.

    1. Dragon quest game localization announcements.

    2. Digimon world re digitize decode localization announcement

    3. Idolmaster ps3 games localization announcements.

    • God

      Don’t forget a Dragon Quest XI…

      • Reki Honoo

        I would love a dragon quest XI, but I just want the remakes and new ones japan has, to be localized first

    • Shady Shariest

      Digimon… Take my money… Plesh :<
      Would be a day-one purchase if localized =_=

    • Renaldi Saputra

      Finally someone understand

      but I doubt much for number 3

    • http://hanzoadam.tumblr.com/ Hanzoadam

      Lulz Idolm@ster being Localised =P

      that’ll never happen

      • Renaldi Saputra

        anyway I agree
        if Im@s get localized by Bamco, it will be some meteors falling

  • Ace

    These are genius.

  • MaidKillua

    If you really want to promote Hatsune Miku in the west just put her in Call of Duty. Imagine teenage boys hyped up on mountain dew slaughtering hoards of blue haired waifus

    • Tsuibana

      Nah, I think Luka would fit more to that audience’s taste. If you put them in revealing clothing though, they probably wouldn’t care who it was.

      • GameTaco

        Make it IA and I might actually try a Call of Duty game.

  • doubleO7

    “Maybe Zelda Wii U? It’s about all I can think of that’s a long shot.”

    A lot of these are pretty funny, but that one takes the cake for me lol

  • DesmaX

    Oh boy, I sure hope we’ll see a new game announcement

  • luckgandor

    “XSEED localizes Gal Gun”

    I’m laughing crying.

  • MaidKillua

    Atlus announce that they have discovered a completely new continent. The indigenous people call it “Europe”

    • Sean ‘Geg’ Reddie

      AHAH. This made me choke. Thank you.

    • Shane Guidaboni

      Even in E3 threads -_-

      • Ethan_Twain

        It’s in all threads on Siliconera. If you don’t want to read European gamers complaining about video game distribution to their continent, don’t read Siliconera comments. That’s just the status quo here :/

        There was that news post that went up with Siliconera community guidelines that instructed “Don’t be the guy that’s always complaining about the same thing over and over again.”

        But do I really expect that to dissuade people from beating the Siliconera community’s favorite dead horse? Not really.

      • jugss

        I thought Wii U sucked in Europe? Like only a few were sold during launch. I’d understand if they pull out the support for Wii U in Europe.

        • Land of Green Pasture

          hey, that’s rude! at Saturday I saw a guy buy a Wii U!

          • http://hanzoadam.tumblr.com/ Hanzoadam

            did he mistake it for a PS4? =P

        • Haganeren

          In fact, it differs from country. From what i know, It’s mediocre on UK, it’s relatively good in France, i don’t know about German.

          • http://hanzoadam.tumblr.com/ Hanzoadam

            true sales of the Wii U haven’t been great here in the UK.

      • MaidKillua

        “Nintendo E3 threads”. I dunno if you were mislead by the picture of Reggie but most of these had nothing to do with Nintendo. Regardless, though it may be veiled as a completely valid complaint I can assure you my comment was a joke

        • Shane Guidaboni

          I skimmed the article and saw most comments relating to Nintendo games, but going back I see the non-Nintendo remarks. Edited to make more sense.

    • Mc-kun

      I just realized your name and avatar is my favourite character in drag….

      • MaidKillua

        Killua in drag is pretty magnificent

  • Eejhat Wahs

    Darkstalkers 4? Hope so

  • Go2hell66

    Megaman finally makes his return

    • Bossjoe

      Yes, and then Capcom will cancel the game by the end of E3

    • GameTaco

      …Also in the form of a hamburger.

      • DesmaX

        But only a picture of a Hamburger

        No Physical Release for you

        • GameTaco

          Costs $2 and you can only view it 30 times. If enough people look at it, Capcom might consider releasing the actual hamburger.

          • Symbol de Au

            That’s funny, even though at the time nintendo was forcing people to charge for their demos.

          • Deletable Man

            developed by Capcom Vancouver

          • darke

            But it’ll only be released in the US, Europe will have to wait another year or two before it will be announced it might finally come there. Maybe. Hopefully.

      • keithmaxx

        Lol. Do you want Fries with that? Don’t supersize it, thanks.

  • Stormborn

    It’s written “Taeyeon”.

  • Thatguy

    What did i read?
    Why i giggled a little after that?

  • Eejhat Wahs

    A Girls Generation rhythm game? If that ever happened then that would literally be the best video game in the history of video games and I’d totally buy that.

  • Weeb

    “The Last Guardian has been reimagined by Team ICO (now Naughty Dog Japan) as a spin-off—The Last Guardian of Us—to be released on PlayStation 5.”

    I’m laughing and completely terrified at the same time

  • flameraver64

    “Monolith Soft unveils mysterious ‘X’ project. A gargantuan mecha, piloted by Nintendo of America CEO Reggie himself, descends from the heavens. All competitors are obliterated.”

    Funniest one by far, I would SO buy that game hahahah

    • darke

      I’m waiting for the announcement of it, only for everyone to be disappointed since there’s no way it can live up to the hype that’s been generated so far. :(

      • flameraver64

        If it’s a game that’s as good as Xenoblade but in HD, I’ll be completely satisfied.

  • Kaetsu

    ‘MARA, CHARGE FORTH WITH YOUR GLORIOUS CHARIOT.’
    That’s enough internet for today…

  • GameTaco

    Megaman Volnutt returns… In an interactive movie styled after Asura’s Wrath. When questioned about it, Capcom remarks that they’re pretty sure that’s what CyberConnect2 meant when they said they wanted to take over development.

    Both Japanese and English voiceovers are featured, but no matter which you choose, the voice cast consists of the guys from Megaman 8. Gotta draw a line on the budget somewhere, after all.

    • Kaetsu

      I really hope Capcom and Nintendo team up for a new Megaman game that has either Volnutt or EXE(I don’t care for any of the other versions of Megaman).

  • Astrotrain

    Darkstalkers are Dead.

  • Guest
  • Kaetsu

    “The Last Guardian has been reimagined by Team ICO (now Naughty Dog Japan) as a spin-off—The Last Guardian of Us—to be released on PlayStation 5.”
    The scary thing about this is that I wouldn’t be surprised if Sony actually did this(minus the PS5 part).

    • http://keiserone.tumblr.com/ KeiserOne

      I’d kill for an ICO/Shadow Of the Collosus HD bundle for PS4/Vita first.

  • subsamuel01

    Nintendo unveils a new Megaman game for the Wii U and 3DS being published and developed by Nintendo.

  • Professor_Icepick

    The Splatterhouse and Darkstalkers ones hurt me. I’d legitimately love to see a PC port of Splatterhouse 2010, especially if they fix the friggin’ load times.

  • Solomon_Kano

    Hahahaha.

  • EGG™

    Atlus FINALLY decides to raise Devil Survivor 2: Break Record from Index’s ashes once and for all

  • EvE

    i want star ocean 5 ):

  • Martian Wong

    “‘That game’ will be at E3. Please look forward to it!”
    I got the FFXV vibe off it.

  • http://keiserone.tumblr.com/ KeiserOne

    - Sony finally redeem themselves by announcing killer Vita games.
    - Nintendo decides to release a firmware update to remove region-locking, and revamps the eShop to finally give players standard accounts.

  • Juan Manuel M. Suárez

    “Upon being asked if the press conference on Monday will include Vita announcements, a Sony representative will respond, ‘Is that a PS4 game?’” Harsh but funny~.

  • Kayriss Wins

    I’m always up for more Western promotion of Miku, It’s amazing how popular she’s gotten over here in just a few short years.

  • Nice Boat Quatro

    “Square Enix announces five new Kingdom Hearts games slated for release before Kingdom Hearts III.”
    Burn the witch!

    • Landale

      Indeed, they should be burnt for giving false hope. You did see that 6.5 games before KH3 bit right after didn’t you?

      • J_Joestar

        i’m sure it’ll more accurately be 6.66~ games or “Two-Zero Games over Three” they’ll call it.

  • http://keiserone.tumblr.com/ KeiserOne

    I’d like Okami HD announced for PS4/Vita/WiiU, and a World Ends With You 2 for 3DS.

  • Guilherme Matheus Silva

    GO BOMBERMAN! GO MARA!

  • vincent_vincent

    That image got a LOL out of me

  • Aspenharls

    Alright, I’ll try:
    Atlus unveils they actually have a ton of money. They reveal a new console: The Persona-station. It only plays Persona games, and the only way to play it is by having a nerve-gear replica predict your tarot, and using that Tarot on the Card Reader Controller.

    • JohnNiles

      Instant-kill skill + nerve-gear = ?

      • Aspenharls

        A terrible Romance anime.

    • darke

      That’d be great. We’d get all the whining-about-persona-not-being-localised-in-Europe-or-not-on-vita-or-not-on-3ds-or-…-threads walled off into a ghetto so everyone else can avoid reading them. :?

  • SaiyanJedi_Trunks

    Bring Girls Und Panzer Senshadou Vita to the West as a PHYSICAL release.

    More Vita Love.

    A Shenmue rescue.

    Nintendo software update making Wii U and 3DS region free.

    X, Bayonetta 2, SMT x FE – all releasing this year.

    Persona 5 to be ported to PS4.

    Any news on the Last Guardian.

    New Games for Current Gen Consoles (PS4, Xbox One, Wii U) that will be coming out THIS year instead of next.

  • Maia Kasoya

    Atlus reveals even MORE Persona 4. >_>
    Also TWEWY fan tears.

  • https://www.youtube.com/channel/UChAgYzpMfD0X9n_9uj6Zghw Jeremy

    id be all over a harmonix parappa the rapper.

  • ShawnOtakuSomething

    Tomodachi

    Tomodachi

    Tomodachi

    Tomodachi

  • tturtlejosh

    Gravity rush 2 and Bayonetta 2 that’s all I need

  • sakusakusakura_nyo

    Ha ha ha I thought these were going to be serious predictions! XD

  • https://www.youtube.com/user/BaoZakeruga BaoZakeruga

    ‘MARA, CHARGE FORTH WITH YOUR GLORIOUS CHARIOT’

    Who said it? xD

  • Tonton Ramos

    How dare some comment de-hyping a particular game?!

  • Renaldi Saputra

    D I G I M O N
    that’s all I want

  • http://hanzoadam.tumblr.com/ Hanzoadam

    I’m actually interested to see about Mirrors Edge 2

  • Mc-kun

    “Square Enix mentions Dew prism sequel that’s coming out on ios in Japan only and delays KHIII until 2018. Oh and we are getting a Breath of fire character on Smash apparently.”

  • Kamen Rider Rayz

    “‘That game’ will be at E3. Please look forward to it!”
    Castlevania: Symphony of the Night 2? Just my random thought.

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