By Spencer . February 19, 2010 . 2:58am
If you don’t want anything spoiled stop reading here.
This is an action-adventure game in which players assume the role of a half-human, half-god-like Spartan (Kratos) who seeks revenge against the gods of Mount Olympus. Steeped in ancient Greek mythology, the game depicts a fantasy world on an epic scale.
It also depicts exaggerated acts of violence and frequent killing. Using double-chained blades and arrows, players hack-and-slash skeleton soldiers, rabid dogs, a centaur, a cyclops, fire-breathing creatures, and other monsters. This combat is both bloody and fantastical. Large sprays of red blood occur when enemies are hit. Blood often stains the ground, surrounding walls, and sometimes on Kratos’ body. When defeated, enemies drop magical, glowing orbs that boost health and experience. The most intense depictions of violence occur during boss battles with the gods. Players engage in close-up and extended battles that are completed by pressing button sequences corresponding to on-screen prompts. One god will be thrown repeatedly into rocks and walls; another god’s eyes will be gauged out by thumbs. A god may get pummeled into the ground or have its legs sliced off, its head torn off. In one sequence, blood will stain the screen after each of Kratos’ blows, building up to the point of complete saturation. Immediately after "dying," the defeated gods often have fantastical endings such as transforming into a swarm of mitelike insects or a cascade of plummeting water.
The game contains a sex mini-game. Players will encounter a goddess and her two hand maidens, all topless, all holding and caressing each other. If players wish to, they may join the goddess (and only the goddess) in bed. Actual sex is never depicted as the camera drifts, then fixes on the two maidens, who watch from a distance. As players respond to the on-screen prompts with button presses, the topless maidens will continue to watch, and sometimes caress. Moaning sounds from the bed can be heard throughout the sequence.
The game includes some behind-the-scenes footage that contains a few instances of profanity (e.g., "f**k" and "sh*t").
Wait, that just said “behind-the-scenes footage”? Did the ESRB just leak an Easter Egg too?