ESRB Attempts To Explain Cho Aniki Zero

By Spencer . March 14, 2010 . 12:33am

imageSome games are hard to describe on paper. Cho Aniki Zero, a manly shoot ‘em up with bodybuilders acting as gunpods, is one of those games. The ESRB does their best to outline it by pointing out Speedos and “man juice” phrases.

 

Let’s read their explanation for the “T” rated game, which spoils one boss battle.

 

This is a side-scrolling shooter in which players control small characters that fire energy beams and bombs at an assortment of fantastical creatures. Players can battle amoeba, flower creatures, skeleton bosses, and muscle men wearing tight Speedo shorts. Enemies and objects explode in a fiery burst and disappear from the screen when defeated. Some male and female characters are depicted in revealing outfits, and dialogue contains numerous suggestive references; for example, "It’s full to bursting with man juice," "let me wipe you down. C’mere big boy," "I’m gonna hold my best bro’s hand, and we’re gonna cuddle up all close, ’til our eyelashes touch," and "Get you’re a*s off my neck! Stop rubbing!" In one sequence, players battle a pair of bosses connected in the following manner: the man in front is positioned like a dog while the man in back is cradling the squatting man’s knees, his face submerged under the man’s crotch. The game contains language such as "sh*t," "a*s," and "a*shole."

 

“It’s full to bursting with man juice”? Not too many games have lines like that, but the ever intrepid folks at Aksys are releasing Cho Aniki Zero in North America. It’s only for PSP and will be a digital download when it comes out this spring.


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  • Genjo

    oh wow they sure make it clear to people about this game lol

  • ndjn3979

    I’m not sure which fact weirds me out more: the fact that this kind of game is actually coming here, or the candid and to the point review.

  • http://www.siliconera.com/ Ishaan

    You’ve got to wonder if the ESRB folks like having the occasional crazy game to write about or whether they see it more as a pain in the neck.

    • Jaxx-Leviathan

      I think some of the ESRB employees are gamers interested in new and interesting games. But I reckon most of them are professionals, not investing much of their feelings in the games, seeing most of the games as the next assignment.

  • Starmony

    So, are they saying “Yes, we’ve made a game gay as hell.”?

    • http://denpanosekai.blogspot.com denpanosekai

      You obviously don’t get it.

  • http://denpanosekai.blogspot.com denpanosekai

    “Get you’re”

    *GRAMMAR NAZI ACTIVATE*
    WTF is wrong with ESRB? Did one of their editors drop the ball, or did Aksys make a despicable typo? (wouldn’t be the first time, looking at you Jake Hunter).

    • http://twitter.com/matty_125 matty

      I can’t blame either in this case. My mind would want to wonder, too, if someone’s buttocks were on my neck.

    • http://whatistheexcel.com/ Excel-2012

      It’s hard to keep track of mistakes like that given the source material.

    • http://www.aksysgames.com Belisarius

      I just checked our script, and that particular line uses the correct “your”, not “you’re”.

  • http://photovoltaik.bandcamp.com/ Ujn Hunter

    Boo to Digital Download only games! Pretty hilarious ERSB write-up.

  • [The Hunter] Doomrider

    Hey… They tried.

  • neo_firenze

    I think any “crazy” in that description is the game itself, and not the ESRB employees at all. The description is actually quite objective, and only mentions some of the bizarre stuff that’s in the game. It really is successful at ESRB’s intended purpose of letting people (parents) know what kind of content is in games.

    There’s no editorializing like the recent DOA Paradise fiasco, these comments are just mentioning potentially objectionable things that are in the game.

  • masuto

    Oh, how bold!

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