Final Fantasy VII Rebirth Insomnia Cookies
Image via Square Enix

I Checked Out the FFVII Rebirth Insomnia Cookies and It Was Just OK

It was 9pm and, after a long day with friends, I looked at my phone. “It’s time for me to head-out I think.” A friend piped up as I picked up my bag. “Hey, do you wanna get some Final Fantasy cookies? They’re doing this FFVII Rebirth thing with Insomnia Cookies. And it’s in the area, so if you wanna go I can drop you off after.” I wasn’t even aware that Square Enix was partnering with the retailer for a special collaboration.

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I agreed, because I was curious as to what the collaboration entailed, still not looking anything up about it as we made our way there. The store itself was empty, with a few college students gathered outside and uninterested in the small cookie store illuminated with sterile halogen lights. We walked inside, and I pointed at the Final Fantasy VII Rebirth print displayed by the register. “I’ll take one of the FFVII Rebirth crossover cookies.”

“It’s a box.” I blinked and looked back to my friend. “It’s a box?” The cashier nodded. “Yeah, it’s a box of cookies. You get to pick twelve of our standard cookies and then you get the case.” I squinted up at the menu, scanning over the selection of classic chocolate chip cookies, snickerdoodles, and peanut butter cookies. All of these options seemed unappealing. But I looked back at the cashier and shrugged. “Sure. What the hell. I’ll take some cookies.”

For the next few minutes I picked out a small assortment of cookies that I would eat in the car ride back and feed my friend between intermittent stops between the freeway and residential areas. “Do you want the cover separately?” I frowned, cocking my head in curiosity.


“Yeah, separately. You know, not over the box.” The cashier said, as though she had been asked to provide the box featuring CGI renders of Barret and Red XIII on a black background not covering the box. It crossed my mind that these could definitely be viewed as collectors items, but I shrugged. “Nah. It’s OK. It’s not that serious.” She laughed and headed back behind the counter to heat up the cookies.

Her colleague came out, scrubbing his hand over his beard. “I’m surprised we haven’t sold out of these. We had a couple people coming in buying them, like, two at a time.” I was pretty surprised too. FFVII Rebirth is a big release and has already garnered critical acclaim so you would figure a collaboration, even if it was with Insomnia Cookies, would get some kind of attention. But as I looked around the store, I figured out why maybe people weren’t clamoring for a box of a dozen cookies with a thick paper sleeve.

There weren’t any standees or any kind of decoration to celebrate the release of the game. The only Final Fantasy VII related thing was the display of the sleeve. “They got other ones at the other locations. You gotta go to all of them to get all of the characters.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” I said. My friend agreed, and we talked a bit about the game with the cashier before our cookies were packed up and ready to go.

“That’ll be $33.” Pulling out my phone, I tapped the back of it against the card reader, waiting before the display showed me that the transaction was approved. Taking the box in my hand, I crammed the receipt into my pocket and left the store with my friend. They were surprised I bought the box of cookies. I was too. That was $33, which was pretty pricy for a dozen of what was honestly just very average cookies. Sliding into the front seat of their car, I bit into a half-warm chocolate chip cookie, looking at the sleeve.

“Well, I guess we gotta take a picture.” And so we spent the next five minutes taking pictures of the sleeve and the box of cookies positioned in my lap, laughing at my purchase of a bunch of cookies at almost 10pm.

Would I have gotten these cookies and the accompanying sleeve if it wasn’t a snap decision? Maybe. Maybe not. Was it worth it? I don’t know. I mean, I’m eating one of those cookies right now as I write this, and my roommate seems to have liked the sleeve. They like Barret, which is cool, because Barret is pretty awesome. But as far as collaboration events go, it was pretty lackluster and, much like the cookies, was really just OK. But hey, nothing beats a good chocolate chip.

Final Fantasy VII Rebirth is available on the PS5, with the exclusivity arrangement ending on May 29, 2024.

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Image of Kazuma Hashimoto
Kazuma Hashimoto
Senior staff writer, translator and streamer, Kazuma spends his time playing a variety of games ranging from farming simulators to classic CRPGs. Having spent upwards of 6 years in the industry, he has written reviews, features, guides, with work extending within the industry itself. In his spare time he speedruns games from the Resident Evil series, and raids in Final Fantasy XIV. His work, which has included in-depth features focusing on cultural analysis, has been seen on other websites such as Polygon and IGN.